Breaking News: Bill, Santa, and the RamDeer
In these modern times with animal rights labor laws, and unionized reindeer, Santa has switched to a team of 4-wheel-drive, 2009, RamDeer. Exclusive footage was recorded at the Green Team in Clay Center where five RamDeer were captured and are being detained and sold by local car jockey Bill Rice. When RamDeer are spotted in North Central Kansas they are often seen running down the highway with the traffic rather than across the traffic into the paths of cars like White-Tail deer too often do. Unlike White-Tail Deer, RamDeer come in a variety of colors and all come equipped with their own extra rudolphly bright headlamp system. Santa, who purchased his RamDeer from Bill Rice, is impressed with his 2009 RamDeer's new multilink coil rear suspension, and its improved handling (even at the high speeds that Bill Rice drove them.) Santa doesn't have time to worry about quality, so its Lifetime Powertrain Warranty is exactly what he needed. Santa also likes the new, larger Crew-Cab for taking along a couple extra-large elves like Tom and Doug, but what he really loves is Channel 13 on the RamDeer's Sirius Satellite Radio. Ramdolph and Santa just love to sing along with the "King!"
One issue that was brought up was whether the RamDeer would be able to get Santa up to the Chimneys. RamDeer are descendants of the HEMI-powered beasts that the Dukes of Hazard drove out on the wild range, and we all saw how those critters could jump!
When asked if the RamDeer would be fast enough, Rod, an elf who has been riding with Santa, commented that the "RamDeer can really haul ....Santa..., and he's a pretty big guy with quite a load!"
Last year Santa did purchase an Impala from Bill Rice at the Green Team and while its speed, energy economy, and quality were phenomenal, it was unable to carry all the Christmas goodies that Santa can load in his RamDeer. The 2009 RamDeer also have improved energy consumption; so, this year you won't find a carbon deposit on your roof. Several years ago Santa tried making his deliveries with a John Deere. The power to pull his sleigh was unparalleled, but the speed was lacking to say the least. Santa didn't finish his Christmas Eve deliveries until May 3rd. Santa also considered shipping all his deliveries with DHL, but they would only deliver in Europe, and about the United States Postal Service---Postal!
Now, when deer hunters see Santa drive by with his 2009 RamDeer, they wave and whistle. In the past, Santa had trouble with the hunters taking shots at his Reindeer. RamDeer hunting is legal in all 50 states, but only if you hunt with a licensed Dodge dealer.
It is legal to own a RamDeer in Kansas as long as you have it tagged and licensed. Bill Rice has also set-up a care facility toward the rear of the building at 802 W.Crawford for ailing RamDeer.
Below is an exclusive picture taken by Justin, the Green Team Paparazzo, of one of the RamDeer.
Check back again at www.RamDeer.com. We will post updates on what we learn about the RamDeer and RamDeer News.
The preceding may not be used in whole or in part without the written consent of its author, Justin Lorenson. The elusive, exclusive "RamDeer and Ram-Deer" name may not be used without the written consent of the www.RamDeer.com domain owner.